I don’t know why he starts with a fake black person, when the Boondocks aptly noted that white people love cheese
however i am glad that he mentions benjamins credentials because any white people in a story about cheese shouldve won an award ideally
“The man also looks familiar, like most artists in Colorado. Almost exactly like a Village Voice writer in whose periphery Benjamin has been wandering for a couple of years now.”
I mean, Colorado artists?
I can’t have goat cheese, I get really sick.
One time, in Atlanta, we went to this pizza place and they put 800 types of cheese on our pizza. I didn’t realize this. About thirty minutes later I ran out of the restaurant and threw up. Then I laid on the sidewalk because my brother and family were just like, ‘eh, she’ll be fine until we finish.’
also i like that the lactose intolerance casts a kind of Freudian pall over the story, like it is signifying some deep seated anal retentiveness
I don’t believe this story would fare well with the tea party crowd
like, the village voice is a communist publication
and then what kind of American vomits from pizza?
“But of course, Benjamin would write the same story. Would laugh courteously on Sunday, at appropriate moments, whilst Mooney downed pitchers and steaks and regaled a girl from the Dallas Business Journal at the shopping center not quite within walking distance from the Hilton.”
wait, who is Mooney? And why is he walking distance from Hitler?
the lesbian pretending to be a SRS WRITAR is not as on overused trope as the boring white dude
also the dreams of vigorous sex would become realized
there’d be no couponning
they would rub themselves down with cash and cheese
it would actually just be Benjamin getting a tip drill from Francine
since that’s what’s at the core of this story
like it’s about a man who just wants to swipe a credit card down a girl’s ass crack
like saying, “it must be your ass, because it ain’t your face” is very confusing to me
i mean, i am quoting lyrics from memory, but what ‘face’ are we really talking about?
and when you swipe a credit card between ass cheeks, what are you REALLY saying?
that’s what she’s worried about
I’m telling you
luring people to her subaru
and everyone knows poets are slutty
why else would they be luring people to subaru’s
uhhh i didnt mean to use an apostrophe there
no, i got an update. it is irrelevant now, but this:
“Reckless; hysterical; much fortune telling. This is what Benjamin records later, in his notebook, on the trail to Emerald Lake.”
He has so many diaries because of his allergy to dairies
I just reenacted this scene. No one knew what I was doing. Neither did I. Maybe it is because I threw a stick instead of a sword?
That would have been the best thing to ever happen in association with Facebook.
especially on facebook
person of origin: I can’t find my pants! #whitepeopleproblems
me ruining a thread: can’t find my hymen #whitepeopleproblems
Okay Facebook: I’ve divided everyone up into categories based on states I’ve lived in and schools I’ve attended. This helps because we moved around a lot and I went to a lot of schools / colleges since I’m a ramblin’ man.
It is also beneficial because I don’t have to deny people and get angry messages; instead I put them in a labeled area and rarely check it.
BUT WHEN I DO: Why are the most racist, sexist, bigots the ones who also post daily quotes from Jesus? And it is not just my folder from Georgia or Alabama – I have to include New Jersey in here too. If I make a comment or point something out, someone will get extremely offended and say something disgusting followed by the gospel, so I’m kind of like:
And I am so sorry – I didn’t save this gif with the source name (I usually do that, don’t angerball me).